Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Day 11 Putting My Illness Aside To Take A Pretty Picture

My husband, and I planned a vacation. We made lots of plans. We where going to go on a road trip. We where going to see a friend, and then at the end my father in law was coming to visit. We planned to go camping, and riding ATV's on some mountain trails. Late summer its in the 90's or up close to a 100. My state is very humid all year round. Because of the neuropathy, and or issues with my spine as a result of EDS/POTS I don't sweat properly. I ONLY sweat on my palms, head, few random patches on my back, and under my boobs. This is not enough to properly cool my body in that kind of heat so I have wanted a cooling vest for a long time. For this vacation we planned on buying one. So I could join my family, and stay cool. I just want to have fun! But it didn't happen. You know how it goes. Money always finds something else it needs spent on. But I couldn't let that keep me back! I was gonna have fun.
I'm very much an outdoors girl. I would live outside if I could. Just to hear the birds sing, and the smell of the trees. Food on the grill. ATV's, cold beer, and BBQ's. The river, and lake. The sun on my skin. Camping, and bonfires. I hate being confined indoors. I just want to live my life. Do things with my family. Have fun. Be free. Just be me for a little while. To hear the rain on my tent, and crickets at night........To cook breakfast outdoors.
Well things happened. Money fell short. Blah. Blah Blah. You know how it goes. We all been there! Had to tag my truck. Cost an ass ton, but hey I'm thankful to have a nice truck to drive. A year ago I was getting my SUV reposed because I was still fighting for Social Security, and my husbands hours got cut at work. I'm thankful I have a way to pay for the tag! So hubby said we where going to cancel the vacation. I said we couldn't! It would be rude to his dad he already scheduled his vacation to come see us. "But you don't have a cooling vest. You can't take that heat! Camping outside! Are you nuts?" Well then the universe provides..........
The weather changed, and the temps dropped to 70's, and 80's. For the time we planned on being camping, and trail riding. So sometimes you just got to say screw your illness! Put it all aside, and do what you love. And I did. Yes to get a pretty picture. It took me about 45 mins to ride up this mountain to get a picture. On the way up my feet kept slipping. Flip flops, and ATV's don't mix. I had forgot to bring my tennis shoes. I didn't care! Nothings was stopping me. ATV's have spiky foot pegs. So I rolled with it. Took my shoes off, tied them to the utility rack. I also had my hubby tie a bottle water, and my camera on there. Before I left I got hot so I took my T-Shirt off, and wet it with an ice cold water out of the cooler. Put it back on. That cooled me off. Redneck cooling vest. I was going to do what I loved, and EDS, POTS, nothing was stoping me! Did I have a headache? Ya. I always have a headache. Did I care? No. Sometimes you just got to do whatever it takes, and climb that mountain. Even if it is to take a damn pretty picture! You will have that picture forever. Will you remember that you felt like shit on this day 20 years from now? No. So climb the mountain already, and take a pretty picture!
I told my hubby I wish I had a heart rate monitor wrist watch. Because this trail we went on has some pretty hairy places. So I know my heart was doing flip flops. Was I having fun? Every damn minute of it! My hubby would go around a mud puddle, and I would go straight through it. Piss on it. Get a little muddy. When I have my mind set on doing something I do it.
And I just put my illness aside. It's always worth it. Sometimes you just have to be free, and have fun. Put your illness aside. Even if it's just for a short while. Deep down you are still you, and like the same things you always have. So indulge! Do what makes you happy. Even if it's only to get a pretty picture. Those memories last a lifetime! So get out there, and live!
Today I am thankful for:
My iPad. This is how I write all my blogs, and keep up on FB. It may seem petty, but the laptop was to heavy for me. So I kept dropping it as it would dislocate my thumbs. So I am thankful for my iPad that is small enough I don't hurt my hands. And it helps me write all the blogs you read!
I am thankful for the awesome view at my house. I can look out over these mountains, and realize there is more to life than whatever mood I am in. It is truly beauty, and I thank my Creator!
I am thankful for my books! I love books, and hope to one day have my own library.
I am thankful for the weekends. Where I get to sleep all night beside my hubby. You never realize how much you miss things until they are taken away. I am so thankful he works so hard to take care of his family. That my kids get to sleep in.
I am thankful for Sunday breakfast. I don't make breakfast much. If I do it's simple things. But every Sunday the hubby & I both make a huge breakfast for the kids. Today was Maple & Brown Sugar French Toast. I made a bunch extra to freeze. I may have to sit down to cook, but I still can most days.
I am thankful for fuzzy socks. On a cold Autumn night they sure keep my toes warm. Plus they are soooo soft!

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