This is my blog about living with chronic illness. I have Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, and POTS. One thing I refuse to let illness take away is my funny. It's about all I got let. Laughter gets me through things, and helps me get out of things. So come laugh with me. Why not?
You feel a baby grow inside you, and when she is born you look into those sweet eyes. You are filled with nothing, but love for your child. When you look into those eyes you are secretly making plans. As a mother we are always making plans. Her first steps. Her first smile. Her first words. After all the firsts of infancy we move onto the firsts of childhood. You visualize her first day of school. You dream of when she can read you a story. When will she write me a sweet love letter? Draw me a picture? The dreams just keep getting bigger. Graduation and prom. Driving my car? Will she find true love? We dream of our daughter’s wedding day, and her having a magnificent career. We dream big. Oh ya we dream big. It’s these dreams that get us through the hardships of being a Mama. All the “I hate you”, and “you’re the meanest Mom ever.” The joy of being a MOTHER is worth any pain. But never in those dreams do we dream that something may go wrong. We don’t dream of illness, sorrow, and hardships. We surely don’t dream about our kids getting cancer.
Never do you dream that our daughter may not live to be a grown woman. You never imagine that you will live longer than your daughter. You never make plans for a terminal illness. And you sure never think your daughter in middle school will get Ovarian Cancer. It’s rare for a young girl to get Ovarian Cancer. Sure you have heard of Ovarian Cancer. It happens to older women. But a young girl? You never dream to stay hours by her bedside in the hospital. Having to learn to flush lines, and change dressings. To be her personnel nurse all hours of the day. I am sure before Bekah got sick her family never gave Ovarian Cancer much thought. She got her yearly checkups, and her Mom did all the right things. She was never sick much. Until now…….
Bekah's smile melts my heart
Bekah is a beauty, and the love of many. She is a young girl whom deserves the best. She has friends, and a family that adore her. She has a Mother just like me. A Mother that would do anything for her baby. Even as hard as it may be she helps Bekah with her Bucket List. Her mission is to bring some happiness to Bekah in her last days. Even if it is painful for her. She hides her own grief to bring a smile to daughter’s face. She puts her life on hold. But you say how could she? I could never do that? But you see she has to. She had dreams for Bekah, and when Bekah became sick she shifted those dreams. She then began living Bekah's dreams. So many things Bekah will never get to do. But what of all the things Bekah has gotten to do? Things that make her smile from ear to ear? So many people want to help make Bekah smile.
Bekah found the strength to walk down the isle on her sisters wedding day. When her mother asked if she could do it she told her mother she would find the strength. What an amazing young lady!
Bekah's mother does what she thinks is best for Bekah. Even when it's hard for her. Including not allowing food in the apartment. You see because Bekah cannot eat food she refuses to eat in front of her. This means she goes without eating many times. As Bekah cannot be left unattended. So her Mother waits until someone can sit with Bekah so she can go eat someplace outside the home. When Bekah lost her hair, she let Bekah shave hers. She loses countless hours of sleep to be at her daughters side in time of need. She keeps up Bekah's Facebook page with updates Bekah ask her to post. Many times she posts through teary eyes. And she has dedicated that she will bring awareness for Ovarian Cancer. She does what she does for Bekah, and she does so with unconditional love. Not a selfish bone to her body. She is a strong women who is doing something very hard. She recently lost her husband, and is grieving him too. Can you imagine? I cannot, and my heart breaks for her, and Bekah both. But I know this, Bekah has one amazing Mama!
Bekah on her sisters wedding day.
Do you want what you think is best for you? What will cause you the least pain? Or what truly is best for Bekah? Please honor her Mother's, and Bekah's wishes. Even if you don't understand. Know that her Mother has done everything for Bekah. If there was a new amazing treatment that could save Bekah she would be doing it. She has done everything she can for Bekah. Sadly nothing else can be done to treat Bekah's cancer. So now she treats the sweet girls pain, and brings some last smiles to her baby girls face. No matter what it takes. Is it hard? You bet so, but she has to. Bekah is her baby. Some judge the family. But not I. What I see is a woman who has to do the hardest thing of her life. Watch her daughter die. Can you imagine? I cannot……….And I will not try to pretend I know how she feels. One never knows how we will react in that situation until we live it ourselves. So do not throw stones. Her mother does what many of us could not.
They all let Bekah shave their heads. What a good looking bunch!
So we can all say “well if that was me I would have done this”, “if they would have done that Bekah might not be sick.” First let me say you can never know for sure how you will react in tragedy. You can’t predict what emotions you will have, or won’t have. You can’t make a solid plan of what you will do. Because when tragedy strikes you are so in the moment you just go through the motions. You just survive. When I had the first stroke we had a plan. Ya did we have a plan. Then when it happened nothing went right, and we didn’t factor in fear. My hubby was scared out of his wits, and his only focus was helping me. He couldn't focus on anyone else he was in shock. You see when you make your plans you most likely are of sound mind, and that is how you can make such a good plan. You don’t factor in fear, sadness, and disbelief. You assume when you make plans everyone will be by your side to lend a hand. So when it happens you switch to survival mode. The days become a blur, and time just kind of slips by. You do what it takes to survive.
That smile warms my soul. Bekah on her sisters wedding day.
So could you do what Bekah’s mom is doing? There is no way to know for sure. But I do know that a Mothers love for her child can make one do some amazing things. Could we be like Bekah? She is strong, graceful, and beautiful? All this despite such a grim prognosis. You can’t say for sure of that either. But please always remember her, and if this happens to you, draw strength from Bekah, and her family. They are just common everyday people whom have been faced with tragedy. They had two choices, to be selfish, and only think of their grief, or to open their hearts, and live for Bekah. They choose Bekah!
They proudly wear PINK for Bekah, and painted their nails TEAL for Bekah.
What do you say? She wants to bring awareness to cancer. That is the least we can do is become aware. If you are reading this promise you will learn about Ovarian Cancer. That you will imprint the signs and symptoms in your memory. So if it ever comes up again you know. If it comes up in a friend you can share the knowledge. We can all learn. This is the only demand this sweet girl has. She demands awareness! Knowledge is power, and we are never too old to learn anything. I know I have learned a great deal from this family. Everyone can learn from Bekah, and her family. So what is it? Are you going to live your life like there is no tomorrow? Or just go on, and assume that everyone will grow to be happy silver haired seniors. Kiss your babies, kiss your partners, and snuggle your pets. Do something you have always wanted to do. Remember in the blink of an eye your world could come apart at the seams. Years of tomorrow are never guaranteed.
Bekah, and her cousin Mason whom also has cancer
So go on get out there, and LIVE! And remember that there is a girl names Bekah who demands peace in your life.