Wednesday, October 26, 2011

What It's Like Living In A Body That Is Shorting Out

Your central nervous system consists of the brain, spinal cord, and retina. I love mechanical things, and know my way around car engines so I like to often refer to my body as being similar to a car. Sure I'm not as shiny, and I talk way more, but the human body, and a automobile really are similar. We both can malfunction. Both require fuel to run. We both need water. We both release stinky stuff from the rear. Both our exhaust stinks, and can be harmful to others. We both have to have water to run. Some are cold blooded. Some require speed. Some can go for miles, and miles living a long life with no 'mechanical' problems. We both come in all colors, shapes, and sizes. Some are fast like us. Some are slow, and trusty. Some haul loads of unnecessary junk in the inside. Some stink. Some make life easier, and some feel like a curse. We both over a lifetime cost a ton of money. Some require little money to maintain. Others are high maintenance. Some are a great fit within a family. Others family is unheard of. Their is a one for everyone. Some have cute nicknames. Some get called POS, and stupid by their loved ones. Some require special fluids to keep them going. Some have to have very expensive fuel to even run at all. Both have a wide choice of medicines to fix aliments, at all different cost levels. Both require a knowing professional to fix us when we are broken. Give us the wrong professional, and things don't get fixed takes 3 or MORE professional to get us on the right track.

So that being said. How does it feel to live in my body that shorts out like a POS car? Some days it pisses me off. Some days it's amusing. Other days it down right annoying, and gets in my way of doing things. Some days it's fun, and challenging. Sometimes it gets me attention. Sometimes I want it. Sometimes I don't. Either way I choose not to hide. I'm not so lovely that I need to park in the last row of the parking lot to escape a scratch. Yet I'm in okay shape that you don't want scratches, and dents for the whole world to see. If I polish my self up I feel better. I can always change my coverings to fit a certain mood. If you kick me I jiggle like a low tire. I cost allot to insure. Some days I'm full of spark, and other days I barely run. When it rains my coils get wet, and I'm not  good for anything. When my coils get to hot freaking forget it. Once I stop, and am silent forget about me going anywhere. Until I left alone to cool off.

Think of when wires short out. All kinds of odd things happen. Things that shouldn't happen. I had a van once the electric seats would move on their own, the windows wouldn't roll down. The heater blower motor would just turn off for minutes then mysteriously come back on. The headlights would flicker. The windshield wipers switched speeds on their own. Sometimes the gas gauge worked. Sometimes it didn't. I had a major short. The van pissed my husband, and I both off. We didn't have the patience to diagnose, and treat every little problem. It had to many 'little' problems that made it as a whole a BIG problem. So we sold it. I sold it to my very patient friend. He fixed everything, and what do you know? That van became their band van. It went all over hell, and back. For like 5 years, and thousands of miles. The same van I just knew needed a salvage yard.

Living in my body is about the same. When things short out in my neurological system all kinds of things happen. After all it controls everything! So I have hundreds of muscle spams a day. If I move a certain way my muscles will knot up, and I can't more for a few seconds. Sometimes I see spots. My ears ring. My eyes have been known to move back, and forth on their own. The pupils being different sizes. Sometimes I itch for no reason. I can smell things that really don't exist. Or see things that don't exist. Sometimes I can't smell at all. I will get goose bumps when it's 90 outside. My head can be burning up, and my feet ice cold. Some days I hear okay, other days I have a hard time hearing. Sometimes I shake or twitch. Some days I can do things of fine detail. The next day it's hard to hold a fork, and get food in my mouth. At times I'm numb, and don't feel things burning me, or cutting me. If I stand up I have to pee. No matter if I just did 5 minutes ago. I feel like I can't swallow when I can. Sometimes I feel like there is an elephant sitting on my chest. My blood pressure does what it wants, when it wants.

This happens because my neurological system is malfunctioning. It makes my life interesting to say  the least. This is just how I'm. It's not whether something will short out. It where, and what? Some professionals help me, and some make me worse. All in all I'm a temperamental being. So you will never figure me out. Just deal with me as I'm. This is just how I run. I never claimed to be of fine German engineering. Just bottom line American economy class that requires lots of upkeep, and PATIENCE.

At least I'm bought, and paid for! Just ask my husband, and Father in Law about that. So enjoy your ride like it's the only one you have. You are not guaranteed to be able to drive forever.


  1. Ok so i saw the phrase "POS car", and instantly this song flies into my head..

    If you have itunes I recommend buying it, the original is SO FUNNY and awesome live is harder to hear but all that is available on youtube) and with your comparison about our bodies now I have two reasons to giggle about it! Oh and lots of swearing. lol.

    Great post!! :D

  2. Song is called "Ode to my car" by adam sandler if you want to look it up :)

  3. We have lots of Adam Sandler CD's we love him! I love that song too! Haha